disjointed

1:26 am. Ugly naked guy's (yes i have my very own) walking around in his apartment in the building across from mine - only today he has boxers and a t-shirt on. Also he's not really ugly, not because i cant see his face but because no one really is - sad how t.v. series are so different from life *silent internal giggle*. eyes glazed over, yellow ledbetter coming from somewhere far far away through the soaked cotton that has miraculously multiplied inside my head in the past three days and is pushing to get out. *inhale* *exhale* focus.
i watch from behind my lazy eyelids as this sentance gets larger, alphabet by alphabet, word by word. hair needs washing, apartment needs cleaning, self needs hugging. Red gloves. I pause, perfectly still and in this stillness i wonder if all else will pause with me, something ? anything ? it all moves forward, sliding out from beneath my feet. Theres no panic this time. Anxiety comes and goes. i breathe. Breathes should always be spent on something worthwhile, afterall we do have a finite number of them. I wonder what your spending yours on.
worthless words, empty hearts, mindless activities, laughing, crying, communicating, convincing people that you're alive.