wandering

she turns the last page, reads it for the second time and rolls over in bed. A smile tickles the corner of her mouth. Not quite a smile of happiness but one brimming with mischief, a hint of fear that makes mischief all the more worth her while. somewhere behind this apparent positivity lies a heaviness that breeds in the hearts of those who have not only lost but lost due to a helplessness stemming from the injustices of the world around, of a society one has contributed to developing and is an active part of. She shoves this heaviness to the limits of her being and gets up as a solitary tear races down the side of her face, dying exactly where the smile would have, had its complete birth been allowed. The tear is forgotten as fast as the smile was. The autumn coloured book placed carefully on the wooden desk - the color of the midnight sky. "You'll forget love, like other disasters" says the book but somehow the writings in between have taught her the exact opposite.

tumko bhool na payengay hum, aisa lagta hai.

Lyrics of the classic hindi song come from somewhere far away, like music under water leaving an impression on her mind like a lost piece of paper that has been found - once a letter written to a loved one perhaps - but now mere illegible indentations where the writing once was, the lead having been erased by a thief in a the night. A thief of words and all they represent, love, fear, anger, loathing, compassion, contempt, grief, desperation - all human emotions imaginable. These signs stolen as if in an attempt to steal life itself - even from the song, the comparison being so real. This is how her mind wanders when she is alone. From the song to the letter to all that is stolen, amongst it the whiff of his breath from her upper lip.